Friday, April 30, 2010

Friday, April 23, 2010

All will fall, fall right into place

I've told myself many times in the past that everything I earn or everything that happens to me is 100% the product of my own actions and hard work.

Nowadays, I've started heavily considering a major factor in all of this that has shaken up the way in which I think about the translation of work into results - and that's chance. When everything seems to be working out the way you feel that it should, it seems strange, because I believe we're usually accustomed to the opposite happening.

Because when it does, I can't help but feel that an external force is acting upon the world. I call it chance. I'm sure others might have a different name for it.

Friday, April 9, 2010

The art of celebration

-- A fine line between boasting and genuine ecstasy.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

There is no more joy in writing

What I wonder is if there was any joy at all to start?

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Back paddling up tributaries

Three semesters ago, I felt that I was going down the right path. Two semesters ago, I began meandering down some unknown tributary thinking that it was the correct thing to do.

And now, I am here in search of meaning. In a class where I felt I would find no meaning. In a class where I've realized that there is no meaning. And in this, I've learned that I must turn back.

Well, I'm back now!

And I'm moving forward as fast as I possibly can. Rebirth. Renewal. Revival.

Nothing lost, all things gained.
Time lost, skills gained.
Goals lost, goals regained.
Mind lost, soul gained.
Friends lost, happiness gained.
Prestige lost, sanity gained.
Opportunities lost, life gained.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

On the verge of a nervous breakdown

Since June 2009, many things have changed, but the most recent is that I will no longer teach ESL at Casa Marianella. Nine months there. NINE! I could've gone one full year, but I just can't. And for this, I'm terribly sad.

School is absolutely consuming my life. And my internship adds extra stress by subtracting heavily from my already scarce free time.

For example, I've got a paper due tomorrow, which I'm only starting now. I will get it done, but I am sacrificing a bit of my health and mental stability for it. It's actually due at 5 p.m. which gives me more time, but guess what I'm doing between 10 and 5 tomorrow? Class for two hours... then internship.

I hope that this isn't the beginning of a meltdown for me.